


Unwritten

by RebbekkahMorningstar



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Sam Winchester, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, I'm Going to Hell, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, John Finds Out, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Oral Sex, Pre-Canon, Top Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-18 01:43:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12378276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebbekkahMorningstar/pseuds/RebbekkahMorningstar
Summary: Sam writes down everything in his journal, his one 'real' friend, but something should stay unwritten.





	1. Chapter 1

Sam had always kept a journal, a place to put all his secrets since he didn't know anyone else to share them with. Sure he told Dean everything, but sometimes he just needed to tell someone else. So he wrote in his journal. He wrote about the ways his brother touched him, how good Dean's kisses were, and how much he hated his father. 

He was writing in his journal when Dean walked in their motel room. He had left the shop early so that he could talk his baby boy out on a date. He had planned to take Sam to a movie and out for shakes and burgers.

“Sammy, imma hop in the shower then we can head out,” Dean said pulling his shirt over his head.

"Ok, sounds good," Sam said watching his brother disappear into the bathroom. 

He heard the water turn on and the shower curtain close, he smirked setting his journal on his pillow and walking to the bathroom. He quickly stripped and slipped in the shower behind Dean. He kissed up his brother's back.

“Sammy as much as I want you, we don't have time for this,” Dean turned to face his little brother. Leaning down and sealing their lips together.

“I'll be quick,” Sam whispered into their kiss wrapping his legs around his older brothers hips and his arms around his neck, “Come on Dean, take me.”

“Baby boy, I can never say no to you,” he ran his fingers down Sam's back to the cleft of his ass, opening his cheeks and running a finger across his lubed loosened hole, “Damn baby you got yourself ready for me didn't you.”

“I've been so horny all day, worked myself open for you, didn't want to waste any time," Sam moaned as Dean lined his cock up with the sloppy wet entrance and pushed inside.

“So tight, so hot around my cock,” He whispered in Sam's ear licking down his neck, “I love being inside you.”

Sam rolled his eyes back as Dean pounded into him, hitting that one spot inside him that makes him see stars. He dug his nails into his brother's neck coating their stomachs with his release. Feeling Sam's muscles contract around his cock sent him over the edge, he spilled inside his brother biting into Sam's neck.

“I love you,” Sam panted lowering his shaking legs, keeping his arms around his brother's neck for balance.

“I love you too, baby boy,” Dean brushed the soaked strands of hair out of Sam's eyes, “let's hurry up, you don't want to miss the movie.”

The boys finished their shower, dressed and headed out the door. Dean opened the passenger side door, catching his baby brothers lips in a quick kiss. Dean jumped in the driver's side and they sped off to the movie theater. What neither boy saw was the truck that John Winchester had been occupying in the motel parking lot. 

John slipped inside the motel room his sons had been sharing for the past week. The hunt he had been on turned out to be a false alarm, he had headed out to take care of a vampire, turned out the vamp wasn't really a vamp, just a sick teenager who was 'pretending'. He headed back to get the boys, but when he entered the room neither one of his boys was there. He spotted the notebook laying on the bed and grabbed it. He heard faint moans coming from the shower, he walked back out of the room wanting to give whichever child was in the shower some privacy. He sat back in his truck and opened the notebook.

_Hey,_

_It's my birthday, I turned 13 today, not that anyone really cares. We haven't been in this town long enough for me to make friends. Dad is on another hunt, Dean went out three hours ago, after giving me this notebook, telling me happy birthday, and suggesting that I was acting like a girl cause Dad missed another birthday. I really should be used to it by now._

_Dean came back around 4 a.m drunk, with a girl hanging off of him. I faked asleep once again while he got his rocks off, I really wished he wouldn't bring them back here. I hate seeing him with them._

John flipped a few pages ahead, Date 7/14/97.

_I'm finally feeling better after my breakdown. The cuts healed nicely. It felt nice to do it, but getting almost busted didn't. Lying to Dean is getting easier though, now when he ask me what's wrong he believes me when I tell him nothing, that I'm hot, or I'm tired. I did ask him to stop bringing girls back here, I know I'm a coward for not doing it sooner. He called me a prude and told me I needed to get laid. Hahaha if he only knew._

John made a mental note to talk to the boys about Sam's cutting and fuss at them for not telling him. He flipped to the middle of the book, missing the moment the boys come out of the motel room. He heard the Impala, but let them go. He marked his spot,sipped out of the truck, and slipped back in their room sitting down at the table and continued reading. 

_May 2_ _nd_ _, 1998,_

_Well, once again Dad didn't make my birthday, but oh well. I had the best day. I kissed Dean today, not just a peck, a real kiss. He was shocked at first but then he kissed me back. It was the best gift ever. I opened up to him and told him that I was in love with him. He laughed and tried to tell me that I couldn't love him, after an hour of arguing and me giving him a 'fantastic blowjob' he relented. Now I'm dating my brother. (yeah I know it sounds fucked up, but I love him)._

He frantically flipped through the next few pages desperate for it to be some sick joke. The next few pages made him feel sick as his youngest wrote about giving and receiving head from his older brother.

_May 20_ _th_ _, 1998,_

_Today is the day, Dad left us here three nights ago to go on a month-long hunt. Dean told me last night after a heated make-out session that he wanted to make love to me if I still wanted to. Hell yeah, I still want too! I have been pacing this shithole cabin all day waiting for him to get home from the shop. I really hope he remembers to get the lube, I don't think shampoo will work for sex like it does for masturbation. I think I hear my prince charming now. I promise to be back tomorrow with all the details._

_May 21_ _st_ _, 1998,_

_OH, MY GOD!!! That was amazing. He was so gentle with me, ate me out first,_ _can you believe I came from his tongue alone? Yeah me either. He felt amazing inside me, I have never felt so full and complete. He made me whole. I'm not going to lie, it did hurt at first, even though he spent an hour working me open on his fingers, making me cum two more times, I was begging for him. When he slid inside, it burned, but he tried to lessen the pain. Slowly inch by inch he worked his way inside me, splitting me on his cock, I had to bite the pillow to keep from screaming. He rubbed my back and kissed my neck waiting for me to adjust to his size, he has a big dick. He could be a porn star. (not that I would let him)._

The last entry in the book Sam wrote about getting accepted into Stanford, full ride. He would beg Dean to leave, but he knew that he wouldn't leave. Sam was leaving and that was a great way to make sure this 'relationship' was over.

The last thing the Winchester brothers were expecting when they got back from their date night was their father sitting at the table in the shabby motel room. He was facing the door and had a notebook opened in front of him, he looked furious. The boys closed the door behind themselves both trying to figure out their old man's mood. 

"How long, Dean?" he spat angrily at his oldest son. 

“What?” Dean was confused.

“How long have you been fucking your baby brother,” John was across the room with his fist drawn.

Dean dropped his gaze to the floor, they had left condoms and lube in plain sight, but that's not what did them in.

“Sir, I don't know what you're talking about,” Dean tried to lie.

John struck his son with his closed fist, “Don't lie to me, boy, your brother was gracious enough to keep a journal outlining exactly how you....”

“Dad!” Sam yelled jumping in between the two elder Winchesters.

John shoved him away grabbing Dean by the collar slamming him into the wall, “How long has this been going on!”

"Two years," Sam screamed from the floor, "Two long glorious years, Dad. For two years I've spread my legs, or dropped to my knees for my brother." Sam trying to redirect John's anger. 

“Shut up, Sam!” both John and Dean growled.

“No! I will not let Dean take this punishment for me! Dad, I started this, I begged Dean for a year! I love him!”

“You don't know what love is Sammy, Dean groomed you for this, didn't you!” John spat turning his head back to his eldest son.

John started wailing on Dean landing blow after blow to his beautiful face. Dean wouldn't do anything to stop him, cause some part of him agrees with John. Dean had thought from the start of this tangled up mess that Sam couldn't love him, not like this. That Dean should have tried harder to keep his sickness away from his brother. Instead, he had infected him. 

“Dean this isn't what I meant when I said take care of your brother! Dean I knew you were messed up, but I didn't know it was this bad!” John kicked Dean in the ribs.

“DAD! STOP!” Sam jumped on his father's back pulling him off of Dean.

“Sam, did you tell him about Stanford? That next week you were leaving, breaking his heart?”

Sam hung his head, he hadn't gotten around to telling Dean, it never seemed like the right time. He looked at his brother, lover, his whole world, he could see more than just physical pain in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I was going to tell you, beg you to come with me. Dean, I love you," Sam dropped to his knees by his brother's broken body, he laid a chaste kiss on his lips before John ripped him off of his brother. 

“Get your shit Sam, you leave tonight. You walk out that door, and you never come back. Don't call, don't write. Forget about us. You are to have no communication with Dean.”

“We are adults! We can make choices for ourselves!”

“Sam! Go, or I'll turn your journal over to the law and have Dean arrested.”

Sam hung his head as he grabbed his stuff. He walked out the door leaving his journal behind. He didn't care what happened to it, of all the things in his life he regrets, he regrets most writing the things that should have stayed unwritten.

 


	2. All it Takes is a Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam had moved on intent on forgetting the relationship he had with his brother. It wasn't like he could just go home right? (I suck at summaries and tagging)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a challenging week and I'm just glad I got this part written, I promise the next part won't take as long. sorry no sex between the brothers today. I promise the next one will be full of it. as always thanks for reading, please tell me what you think.

Sam got on a bus headed for Stanford, he felt lost an helpless. Every mile away from his brother and lover ripped his heart apart a little more, leaving bits of himself scattered in the wind. He cried until his eyes swelled shut, and refused to produce more tears, then he sobbed, chest heaving trying to take in oxygen, trying to rid the body of despair. He knew he'd never see Dean again, and that fact tore him apart. 

He spent the first few months on campus lost in a haze he didn't want to go on but didn't have the courage to die. He refused to leave his room when he wasn't in class, couldn't face the fact that no matter what he did there was a hole in his heart. 

He couldn't escape his memories of his brother, everything he did reminded him of Dean. Brushing his teeth in the mornings he longed to look over and see his brother casually taking his morning piss, making some wisecrack catching Sam looking at him. He longed to feel his lovers mouth on his, to lick the taste of toothpaste and whiskey out of Dean's mouth. He cried himself to sleep most nights.

He avoided the things that reminded him of his brother, no mullet rock, no greasy diner food, no whiskey, and beer. It was hard avoiding it all, made him seem too weird, and hell if he stopped to think he'd realize he wasn't normal. Normal people didn't cry cause they couldn't be with their brother, normal people didn't want to be pinned to the bed and fucked hard by the person who raised them. Sam knew he was going to have to try harder to be normal. 

He only started to move on when he met Jess, she was sweet, caring and the total opposite of Dean. She was a warm body to curl up to at night, a study partner, and after two years together he felt he was finally over Dean. She was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. 

It was their anniversary, Jess had prepared their favorite meal, lit candles and made a playlist of songs to make love to. Sam had found that making love to Jess was a whole different experience than making love with Dean had been, where his brother had calloused hands, a hard chest and could get Sam off in two minutes flat, Jess was softer, firm swell of her breast, nipples larger than those of his brothers, and her wetness, the heat he would sink into was different than being penetrated. 

Jess had just set the table when Sam came home, the smell made his stomach growl in anticipation for the meal, and his cock throb for dessert. He stepped into the kitchen with a bottle of wine in one hand and a dozen roses in the other.

“Hey babe,” he said stepping up behind her wrapping his arms around her waist, “Looks good.”

She leaned back into his embrace, the warmth of his chest and the hardness of his muscles making her feel right at home, "Happy anniversary baby." 

"Happy anniversary," he kissed her cheek pulling her closer to him leaning in working his mouth down her jaw. 

“Somebody's eager, but can we eat first?”

“Of course, wouldn't want this getting cold.” he took his normal spot at the table.

She joined him in her spot, they quickly fixed their plates, heated sexual tension sparking between them, music playing as they ate, mostly 90's love songs, they both could be a little sappy over romantic if they were honest.

After they ate Sam cleared the table smiling as he picked Jess up and laid her down across the wooden surface, dropping to his knees he ran his hands up her thighs, lips following their path, long fingers pushing at delicate lace exposing the moist heat to cool air. He kissed the top of her mound using his tongue to open the folds of her cunt, tasting the musky sweet flavor he has learned to enjoy. He loves making her fall apart on his tongue, licking and sucking her clit till he's drowning in her fluids, till he tastes her for days. He's tuning out the sappy love song that's playing, cause words of love have nothing to do with the act he's committing. 

He runs a finger down her dripping folds feeling her quiver beneath him, he caresses her opening easing inside her tightness. Her pussy milking his finger, demanding something bigger, harder, demanding the stretch. His cock throbbed in anticipation as he added another finger inside her. She was writing on the table demanding with no words to be taken. She gripping his hair and pushing into his face. He pulled away pushing his zipper down and freeing his cock. He braced himself with one hand at her head, one hand on his cock guiding it inside her welcoming body.

The next song started, and as the sounds of a guitar ripped through the kitchen, Sam was paralyzed with emotion. The last time he heard this song he was pinned under his brother, grinding his hips up to meet Dean's. He ripped himself out of Jessica, feeling like he had been shocked.

That's the thing with music, it can make you remember things you worked so damn hard to forget. Never would he have considered his girlfriend would be playing the same crap music his brother listened to, never would he have thought he would be breaking down in front of her while Bad Company's Feel Like Making Love was playing.

He could almost feel his brother's lips on his neck, hear the whispers of love and devotion. He could almost feel the burn of Dean's cock sliding inside of him, almost. It made him long for his brother, it broke his heart all over again. 

He knew he couldn't contact Dean, the last time he tried his father answered and told him to never call again. A few days later the phone had been disconnected. He could feel the tears fixing to fall, Jess looking at him confusing in her face. He felt loss and fear, how would he ever explain this to her. He couldn't so he did the next best thing, he ran. 

He ran upstairs and locked himself in the bathroom, collapsing on the floor sobbing uncontrollably. He knew he would have to face her eventually, he loved her after all. He also knew that one day, he would have to come clean with her, today just wasn't that day. 

Two hours later he slipped from the bathroom to find her asleep in their bed, he slid in beside her kissing her temple, whispering an apology in her ear. He sank down in the sheets and passed out. 

 

Dean had been hanging out in Louisianna when he felt the pull to see Sam, a desire so strong that he couldn't ignore it. He had to get out to California. He slipped out of the bed, leaving behind a woman he had come to call his 'queen of the night'. Quickly dressed, grabbed his keys and left without a word.

He had been drunk, drugged up, and buried deep inside anyone willing to spread their legs for him since the night Sam left. He felt that if he gave enough of himself away, spread himself across the United States, he wouldn't need to feel whole. That the pain lingering in his heart would be discarded in dirty motel beds and dark alleys. 

Dean missed Sam, felt like part of him was amputated. No matter how many men or women he managed to bed no one held a candle to the way it felt to have his brother move below him, or on top of him. To feel his brother's tongue against his. No one could pull an orgasm from Dean like Sam could. 

His father had forbidden contact with Sam, well his father wasn't around. He had left Dean to himself, claiming it wasn't safe. Like anything they ever did was safe, but whatever. His father wasn't here to stop him from sliding into the front seat of his car, drunk, and heading to Sammy. His Sammy, the other half of his soul, even if he didn't understand what that meant.

He found his way to interstate 10 starting his journey to his brother, even though he knew it would take over a day to get to him, he couldn't stop, he wouldn't. He needed Sam like he needed oxygen. Heading through El Paso he stopped for gas at a rundown looking 24-hour shop, he grabbed a cup of coffee, an energy drink, and a pack of cigarettes. He was back on his way in under ten minutes. 

He arrived at 3 A.M using his skills and a fake I.D or two he quickly found out where Sam was living. He made his way to his brother, he smirked finding an unlocked window and climbed inside. He knocked a chair over moving in the dark, the noise was enough to wake the younger brother up. 

Sam shifted in his bed trying to figure out what woke him. A loud crash from downstairs had him jumping up grabbing a bat and making his way towards the noise. His training kicked in and the only thing he could think was he needed to protect Jessica. He fought with the intruder, but lost his footing landing square on his back, a familiar weight crashed into him.

“Easy, tiger,” Dean purred, whiskey on his breath.

“Dean?! What are you doing here?” Sam was panting and fighting arousal.

Dean smirked and pushed his hips into his brother's growing erection. The light came on above them, and a very confused looking half dressed Jess stood in the door jam.

“Sam? What's going on?”

Dean helped Sam off the floor, eyes never leaving Jess, there was a sharp pain in his heart.

“Jess this is Dean, Dean this is my girlfriend,” he looked at the floor, couldn't look into Dean's eyes he knew he'd only see pain there.

“Your brother?”

"Yeah, his brother. Now adults need to talk so can you give us a minute?" 

“Anything you have to say you can say in front of Jess.”

A million thoughts crashed into his mind, he wanted to say that he wanted to fuck Sam through the floor but thought better of it. He looked at Sam and cocked his head to the side. 

“Dad's missing.”

“I'm sure he's just drunk and lost he'll turn up,” Sam shot him a glare.

“He's on a hunting trip and I haven't heard from him in two weeks.”

“Oh, Jess can you give us a minute.”

Sam followed Dean out to the Impala. He kept his gaze to the ground. Dean had to quickly come up with a cover story.

“Where's the last place you knew Dad was?”

“Down near Jericho,” Dean leaned up against the side of the car.

“OK I'll go with you up to Jericho, but I have to be back Monday.”

"Then I suggest you get moving it's a long drive." 

"Give me ten minutes," Sam said disappearing inside. 

Dean slid behind the wheel of the car. Sam slipped in the passenger seat a few moments later.

“Dean, just so we are clear, we can never be what we were, I have Jess now. I have moved on and I hope you have too.”

Dean's heart broke a little more, “Sure, Sammy, whatever you want.”

“Dean, it's Sam.”

Dean knew it would be a short weekend, but he felt calm with his brother by his side, even if he didn't want him sexually anymore. 

 


	3. Lied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is done lying to himself. He is done pretending.

Dean had just busted out of the joint, the first thing he needed to do was locate his brother. He called him and gotten his current location, he was busting his ass to get to his brother before that bitch Constance could hurt him.

Sam was currently being attacked by the spirit, she was trying to kill him. He didn't understand how she was able to attack him.

“You can't kill me! I've not been unfaithful!” He screamed at her trying to defend himself.

"Maybe you don't understand the definition of unfaithful, you are sleeping with one person, while your heart belongs to another," She dug her fist further into his heart. 

A shot rang out and she dissipated. Sam had to think quick, he dropped the Impala into gear and drove it into her home. He dove out of the car just in time to get himself and Dean pinned to the wall. Constance dove for them, then the water poured down the stairs, two children grabbing Constance and dragging her away. It was over, the Winchester boys had won. 

"Sam, what were you thinking driving through the house?" 

“What were you thinking shooting Casper in the face?” Sam retorted.

“You better have not hurt my car, or I'll kill you,” Dean said taking his place behind the wheel adjusting the seat from where Sam had been driving.

The ride back to Sam's apartment was quite both boy's had plenty they wanted to say, neither having the balls to speak. Dean pulled up to the curb and watched his brother climb out of his car.

“Good luck finding Dad,” Sam said throwing his bag over his shoulder.

“Good luck at your interview,” Dean smiled at him.

Sam walked through his living room and up the stairs, he fell into his bed exhausted, but happy to be home. Dean had pulled from the curb when the static started playing, he glanced down at his watch seeing time had stopped. He quickly made his way back to his brother. The flames were burning hot in the bedroom when Dean slung the door open. He grabbed his brother and pushed him outside.

"I got ya Sammy," he whispered helping his brother to the opposite curb. 

After dealing with the police, the fire chief and his advisor Sam was ready to deal with finding the monster who had not only taken his mother, but also the woman he cared for. He slammed the Impala's trunk looking over at his brother with determination. 

“Come on, we have work to do.”

“We should find a place to sleep, Sam, we've been up for 36 hours. It'd do us good to get some rest and a shower.” Dean glanced at his brother.

“Sure, whatever,” Sam was still in shock staring out the window.

Dean found them a motel at the next exit and checked them in. He tossed Sam a key and made his way inside. Sam followed a few minutes later sitting on the bed head rested in his hands.

Sleep didn't come easy for either brother, Sam's nightmares jolting Dean out of a restful sleep. Sam sat covered in sweat trying to calm his nerves. Dean slipped out of his bed minutes later and sat down beside his brother, pulling him into his arms.

“It's ok, I got you,” Dean whispered in his ear.

Sam melted into his brother, clinging to him, soaking his shirt with tears. He sobbed for almost an hour. Dean rubbed his back trying to soothe the young man. Sam pushed his head further into Dean's neck, craving the warmth and closeness. 

Dean let out a shaky breath trying to calm his body, he was here to comfort his brother, not molest him. Sam kissed his brother's neck testing Dean's resolve to be a good big brother.

“Sammy, please don't do this, you're not in any state of mind to be doing this.”

“Dean, please,” he sat up looking his brother in the eye, pleading with him not to question him.

“No you said you didn't want to do this anymore, you're not thinking clearly.”

"I lied, I never stopped loving you, my heart has always been yours." he climbed into his brother's lap kissing him. Licking his lips, begging for entrance. 

Dean parted his lips allowing his brother's tongue inside. Sam devoured Dean's mouth like a starving man. Dean moaned into his mouth kissing Sam like it's a small taste of heaven. Reaching for the hem of Sam's shirt he pushed it up rubbing his nipple with his thumb. Sam moaned feeling the calloused hands on his flesh instead of the soft hands he had become used to. Sam broke the kiss so that they could tumble out of their shirts discarding them on the floor. Chest to chest Sam returned his lips to his brother's his cock growing painfully hard in his sleep pants, he ground his hips down, grinding his ass on his brother's erection earning him a groan. 

"Sammy, please let me make love to you," Dean begged running his hand down his back following his spine down his pants to the crack of his ass, running his finger across his brother's asshole. 

"Yes, please, take me," Sam panted climbing off his brother's lap, quickly losing his pants. 

“God Sammy, you're so fucking hot,” Dean lifted his ass pushing his pants off.

Sam licked his lips laying down on his back splaying his legs for his brother. Dean groaned turning to grab a bottle of lube out of his bag. Sam closed his eyes feeling the bed dip and his brother's heat as he leaned down to capture his lips. Sam heard the bottle snap open and Dean shift above him,

“Please, Dean, I need to feel you, touch me,” Sam begged.

“I'll get you there, have I ever disappointed, Sammy?”

Sam pushed Dean on his back, yanking the lube from his brother's hand pouring a generous amount on Dean's cock. Grabbing Dean's cock by the base he sank down on him, the sharp stabbing pain, and familiar burn made him feel like he was complete. He threw his head back letting out a strangled cry. Dean grabbed his hips stilling his brother.

“Damn Sam, you could have let me prep you,” Dean hissed at the tightness around his cock.

“No, Dean I needed to feel this, I needed to feel complete,” Sam rocked his hips, “oh yes, I missed your cock.”

Dean let go of his brother's hips watching his cock bounce between them, he reached out to grab it wanting to give back to his brother. Sam swatted his hand away, rocking his hips faster.

“Sammy, so tight, so hot, can't last, please cum for me!” Dean commanded, getting his feet under him allowing him to thrust up into his brother.

Sam's body shook as his orgasm took over, his cum spilling out his pulsing cock onto Dean's stomach and chest. Dean pushed deep inside his brother allowing his quivering muscles to milk him of his release. Sam collapsed onto his brother's heaving chest. Dean wrapped his arms around the quivering mess that was his brother, his lover, and the other half of his soul. 

“I love you, Sam.”

“I'm sorry I lied to you, I love you too.”

No matter what was ahead for them they knew one thing for sure, they would always have each other.

 


End file.
